A.D.D. Poem

A.D.D.

By Hannah Fengler

Did you know that a bolt of lightning is six times hotter than the sun

when I was 6 Pluto is my favorite Disney character

and speaking of Pluto did you know that

Pluto is not a planet anymore

planet that sounds a lot like plan

and I'm pretty sure I had one of those just a minute ago

what was I supposed to be doing again

that's right algebra homework

find the dividend of an ADD spelled

A.D.D. attention deficit disorder

Defined is a range of behavioral disorders

occurring in children including symptoms

of poor concentration

hyperactive

and impulse sensitivity

more commonly known as a girl in class who asks

a question that was just ask two minutes ago

I was diagnosed with it in my freshman year of high school

but I have been drawing the symptoms

on every homework paper

form graphite flowers to sketches and random swirls since first grade

I was medicated for it in freshman year

and I remember telling my boyfriend about it

and I was met with the response of

“oh thank God you'll be fixed”

as if my hour-long homework sessions

and my many questions that I asked during movies

or something that made me broken

I can't help it my mind is like a washing machine

a mix of lights and darks bleeding into each other

constantly tossed around toppling over each other

what was I supposed to be doing again

people think that I choose not to listen or

that I don't care about what they say

but the truth is when you speak to me I

become mesmerized by the pigment in your eyes

and now it's some point of the day they match the pigment in the sky

I can tell you the exact shade of Orange that paints

the clouds at the sunset just a few minutes ago

but I'm sorry I can't tell you the last three sentences you just said

3 did you know that it's a magic number

three

are three primary colors that we see in three dimensions

that the very essence of our cells are made up of three parts

our body, minds and souls

did you know that our minds are 90% water

and that mine is 90% distractions

do you know that I fear that I'll Never Fall in Love

because he thinks I'm an attentive that I don't know who he is

because I can't remember that his favorite food is pizza

and his favorite color is green

and little does he know that I have traced the back of his hand

with my fingers a thousand times

and I know his Watch beats half a second off from mine

I know has freckles make constellations

and he's got this little indentation in his chin from when he

busted it open from when he was 5 or maybe it was 6

what was I supposed to be doing again

my mind is no yellow brick road

It is a maze with no end

I’ve forgot where I started

and I don't know where I'm heading

no road signs lead the way just harsh labels being stuck on me as I go

slacker

procrastinator

scatterbrain

I want to scatter these names across an ocean

whose color matches the size of a classmate

who told me that taking pills to stay focused is cheating

I can't help that I was born with the to do list the never gets checked off

or how every time that I finish one life gives me 3

I can explain to you that A.D.D. is really a gift wrapped

in exhaustion and stress

and maybe my intentions goes as fast as Lightning flashes

and my brain isn't constant like the Sun

but at least lightning is six times hotter.